The news of a school shooting or any tragedy at a school can be very scary for a lot of children. The challenge in helping them cope with such an event is that it is also scary for many adults. Here are some pointers.

• Try to stay calm for the kids.  As adults, we should get the support we need from other adults so we are able to effectively guide the children.
• Talk and listen. Find out what children’s fears and concerns are and address them as directly and calmly as possible. Reassure them that adults are there to help and protect them. Circles and dialogues can help children talk about their feelings and what they can do to cope. After giving children time to talk, return to the regular school routine.
• Use your resources. School staff should remember that there are community groups and organizations that are willing and able to help you talk to children, including counselors, members of the faith community, public health, and sexual assault and domestic abuse programs.

What to say or do after a tragedy
After a local or national tragedy, it is very important to make time for discussions among family members, staff, children and youth about what happened. Here is a suggested format for a classroom or group discussion:

In a classroom or group setting, a circle process is a useful discussion tool. But with any process you use:

• Allow everyone to speak. To ensure that everyone has the chance to speak, go in order around the circle or rows.
• Reinforce positive social norms and values of the group, even if anti-social statements are made.
• Recognize that difficult feelings are normal and natural and need to be expressed, but they need to be handled respectfully and in a manner that de-escalates conflict rather than fuels it.
• Build communication and connection and defuse tension by inviting people to share their thoughts and feelings.

Opening statement:
“What has happened today is sad and painful. What we know at this point is (give the facts as you know them).

“When bad or scary things happen, it is important to take a big breath or whatever it is you do to help calm yourself down. Pay attention to the facts. Be careful not to spread rumors. 

“Be careful to stay out of dramatizing the drama – which means try to calm yourself and others instead of fanning the excitement.

“That said, it is still important for you, the students, and me to be able to express our feelings and share our thoughts and concerns. Let us go around the classroom (or circle) and talk about what has happened.”

Possible discussion questions:
In a circle process, each participant has the opportunity to address each question.

• What have you heard about the incident?
• How are you feeling about what happened?
• How did what you heard or saw affect you?
• Who are your friends, supporters and resources for help?
• How can you be a friend or peacemaker to other students and adults in this classroom or school?

As a closing statement at the end of the discussion, encourage participants to take care in this time of stress and confusion.

“Remember, small acts of disrespect can lead to violence. But small acts of kindness and peacemaking have the power to stop violence and create peace. This is the time to practice acts of respect and kindness. Help each other out. Solve any conflicts or disagreements peacefully. Talk to me or other adults if you have further questions or concerns.”

For further resources, contact the Safe and Healthy Learners Unit of the Minnesota Department of Education, 651-582-8433.

Adapted from "You’re The One Who Can Make The Peace 1999 Tool Kit" and Cordelia Anderson, Sensibilities Inc., 4405 Garfield Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN  55409.